Communication: The Most Important Relationship Goal to Have

Originally posted on Missed Translations:

You know if there’s one thing I’ve come to learn about human beings is we are extremely complex creatures. There are so many confusing scopes to our own nature that half the time we don’t even know who we are, where we are going, or what we truly want in life. One minute we want a successful career, one minute we want more recreational time, the next moment we’re searching for the perfect mate, and days later we just want to be left alone. When it comes to human beings and our inconsistency with our own emotions, its safe to say much of the time we have no fucking clue what it is we’re doing; plain and simple.

For these reasons is why relationships are so damn hard. There’s a scene in the movie “Hitch” with Will Smith and Eva Mendes during the speed dating scene, where they’re in a…

View original 1,113 more words

Featured Image -- 91

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie says likability is bullshit—and she’s 100% right

Originally posted on Quartz:

That women care about being liked because society rewards them for it is hardly news. Women who push for what they want are routinely judged for it and called bossy. Being liked and being successful just don’t appear to go hand in hand.

Or perhaps being liked doesn’t matter. As Nigerian writer Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie points out, in her acceptance speech for a Girls Write Now award, changing one’s behavior to conform to expectations is a form of dishonesty.

I think that what our society teaches young girls, and I think it’s also something that’s quite difficult for even older women and self-professed feminists to shrug off, is that idea that likability is an essential part of you, of the space you occupy in the world, that you’re supposed to twist yourself into shapes to make yourself likable that you’re supposed to hold back sometimes, pull back, don’t quite say, don’t be…

View original 207 more words

Definition LookUp of the Day: LOOT | Thoughts & Reflections

…because of the events of this “Thanksgiving Holiday” week of 2014, lets have a look at the word


spoils or plunder taken by pillaging, as in war

anything taken by dishonesty, force, stealth, etc.

to despoil by taking loot; plunder or pillage (a city, house, etc.), as in war

so, certain people wanted to be pissed about the looters in Ferguson

collectively speaking many are still pissed about the past looters of America. I’m talking about the original looters who took this land away from the Native Americans.

If you feel comfortable with this you have too much privilege.


#BlackOutBlackFriday & #BuyBlackFriday

I think now is definitely the time for black people to start rebuilding ourselves a stronger economic standing in our own communities through supporting and starting more black owned businesses. Now is a good time because African American’s #BuyingPower is projected to reach 1.1 trillion by 2015 [Black Enterprise HuffPost]. Now is the time because of everything that is happening here in America this 2014 thanksgiving holiday week with the protests, #BlackOutBlackFriday and more urging to support Black biz with #BuyBlackFriday . I think the black communities have been quiet long enough about this, we need to get serious and take action about these things for the sake of our families “thrivival” in America.

Now is the time also because of the recent allowance of qualifying undocumented Immigrants to be allowed to work. Speaking from my own experiences, while living in LA and job hunting I noticed a huge divide in job placements. I noticed a lot of job listings requesting or preferring the candidate to be bilingual in either Spanish or of a particular Asian language dialect. I also noticed on some interviews I was able to acquire that a large majority of the workers was of one particular ethnicity. One experience that sticks out in particular to me was when I went to an interview in a part of the Fashion District.The majority of the wholesale businesses in that area were Asian Owned and mostly all of the men moving/loading boxes for shipment were Latino. With such a striking visual of that I knew that me getting the job was highly unlikely. Incidents/situations/experiences/realities like this makes me think, why are there so few black owned businesses? I can understand cultural differences that would render a person to consider hiring one over the other; because of this realization we black people seriously need to employ ourselves!

One other incident that affected me the most was when I was hired to work at an apparel wholesaler in LA. The owners were Persian (they constantly argued with each other in their language) and all the seamstresses were Mexican. It was a small company and one of the assistants was Mexican, she was always asked by the owners to communicate with the others because they spoke little English. The other woman was White and she was the designer in charge (she was your typical Devil Wears Prada character with a nasty attitude who spoke down to you; but that’s another story). So two weeks into me being there a new person showed up, she was Mexican. Uncomfortable situations began to occur; like there wasn’t an open computer for her to work on so she was allowed to share a computer with me. She and another Mexican girl there began to do the work that I was previously assigned to do (the other girl only spoke Spanish and did not have a degree in design, and I think was being paid far less than me to do the same work). The designer began to intrust her with communications to the seamstresses because she was bilingual. I already intuitively knew what was about to happen. In my mid 20s and a College graduate I should not have had to experience my first layoff. It was horrible, because the owner first tried to make it like it was something wrong with me when it was actually her foul hiring error. I questioned her calmly about every excuse why I didn’t “fit” the position that she obviously saw me fit for because she hired me until she finally gave me the old downsizing excuse. My lady-like, calm, and to-the-point approach did work because she eventually admitted that I was a good worker because I came to work on time every morning and had good work ethics (quoting her she said I was “good people”) but still let me go after less than 3 weeks on the job. Smh.

From that experience alone I know it’s time for some new moves to be made because this is ridiculous. I know there has got to be more stories out there like this that are not being heard. Issues like young Millennials in college debt and unemployment is a huge hindrance. Of course the betterment of our communities will not happen over night but if we all can get on one accord again like I believe we use to we can make things better for ourselves and our future generations like our ancestors did for us. Let us continue the legacy Black People.

Battle For The Net

If you woke up tomorrow, and your internet looked like this, what would you do? Imagine all your favorite websites taking forever to load, while you get annoying notifications from your ISP suggesting you switch to one of their approved “Fast Lane” sites.Think about what we would lose: all the weird, alternative, interesting, and enlightening stuff that makes the Internet so much cooler than mainstream Cable TV. What if the only news sites you could reliably connect to were the ones that had deals with companies like Comcast and Verizon?On September 10th, just a few days before the FCC’s comment deadline, public interest organizations are issuing an open, international call for websites and internet users to unite for an “Internet Slowdown” to show the world what the web would be like if Team Cable gets their way and trashes net neutrality. Net neutrality is hard to explain, so our hope is that this action will help SHOW the world what’s really at stake if we lose the open Internet.If you’ve got a website, blog or tumblr, get the code to join the #InternetSlowdown here: else, here’s a quick list of things you can do to help spread the word about the slowdown: Get creative! Don’t let us tell you what to do. See you on the net September 10th!

via Battle For The Net.